Monthly Archives: August 2011

Darn you, Lang Jawoll Magic

I thought you and I would be friends. Your colors are so pretty & playful. Not my usual palette, but that’s OK, sometimes a girl needs to work outside the box for inspiration.  I was so excited to cast you onto my needles & begin a new sock… But you’ve done me wrong. Twice. In less than 24 hours.

I should have known you’d be trouble when first I tried to pry (yes PRY) your tail from your center. That first fiber nest was a sign. But ever the intrepid knitter, I chose to ignore your feisty ways and plunged ahead. You, me, my size 0 HiyaHiyas and the Mountain Colors Fishnet Sock pattern from the new Vogue Knitting had a date. I did not let your scratchy, stiff feel distract me. I knit. Most of the first pattern repeat. Only to decide I, the knitter, not you, the lousy yarn, was to blame for our inability to create sock nirvana. Bad yarn to pattern marriage. So I frogged you. All the way back to your knotty little tail. Which I snipped, again choosing to ignore your ill temper.

This time I’d be wiser. I’d use my beloved size 1s because a larger needle would help to tame your snaggy ways. And I’d do something a little more “vanilla” in pattern, something to let you and your pretty colors shine. Not completely vanilla, of course, because I am, at my very core, lazy, and I prefer a little pattern to my socks so I can skip the row counter or markers and just note my progress through pattern repeats. In fact I decided I would shower you with love previously unknown to any other sock- I’d invent my own vanilla with a  twist pattern to showcase your beauty while satisfying my laziness. So I invented a pattern for you and I cast on anew, determined to make our relationship work. And still you refuse to cooperate. Your grabby little fibers keep encasing my working yarn with gnarls. And worse, you continue to cough up hairballs each time I try to carefully draw more yarn from your supposed center pull skein. Never mind the frustration these cause on their own- do you KNOW the disaster that awaits with 3 kittens offering to “help” when I’m untangling your ratty mess? I tried to think you don’t or you wouldn’t be so cruel. But I’ve begun to suspect you actual are, in fact, a woolly bully. You, my “friend” are on your way to a time out with the sweater we shall not discuss… Me & my friends Malabrigo & Crock-O-Dye don’t need your nasty ways. We will show you what sock magic is really all about.