Darn you, Lang Jawoll Magic

I thought you and I would be friends. Your colors are so pretty & playful. Not my usual palette, but that’s OK, sometimes a girl needs to work outside the box for inspiration.  I was so excited to cast you onto my needles & begin a new sock… But you’ve done me wrong. Twice. In less than 24 hours.

I should have known you’d be trouble when first I tried to pry (yes PRY) your tail from your center. That first fiber nest was a sign. But ever the intrepid knitter, I chose to ignore your feisty ways and plunged ahead. You, me, my size 0 HiyaHiyas and the Mountain Colors Fishnet Sock pattern from the new Vogue Knitting had a date. I did not let your scratchy, stiff feel distract me. I knit. Most of the first pattern repeat. Only to decide I, the knitter, not you, the lousy yarn, was to blame for our inability to create sock nirvana. Bad yarn to pattern marriage. So I frogged you. All the way back to your knotty little tail. Which I snipped, again choosing to ignore your ill temper.

This time I’d be wiser. I’d use my beloved size 1s because a larger needle would help to tame your snaggy ways. And I’d do something a little more “vanilla” in pattern, something to let you and your pretty colors shine. Not completely vanilla, of course, because I am, at my very core, lazy, and I prefer a little pattern to my socks so I can skip the row counter or markers and just note my progress through pattern repeats. In fact I decided I would shower you with love previously unknown to any other sock- I’d invent my own vanilla with a  twist pattern to showcase your beauty while satisfying my laziness. So I invented a pattern for you and I cast on anew, determined to make our relationship work. And still you refuse to cooperate. Your grabby little fibers keep encasing my working yarn with gnarls. And worse, you continue to cough up hairballs each time I try to carefully draw more yarn from your supposed center pull skein. Never mind the frustration these cause on their own- do you KNOW the disaster that awaits with 3 kittens offering to “help” when I’m untangling your ratty mess? I tried to think you don’t or you wouldn’t be so cruel. But I’ve begun to suspect you actual are, in fact, a woolly bully. You, my “friend” are on your way to a time out with the sweater we shall not discuss… Me & my friends Malabrigo & Crock-O-Dye don’t need your nasty ways. We will show you what sock magic is really all about.



5 responses to “Darn you, Lang Jawoll Magic

  1. Ooh so glad I read this! I was almost going to try this yarn! NO reason to waste my money on it! Thanks for sharing! Life’s too short to knit with bad yarn! 😉

  2. I have been struggling with this yarn trying to make a shawl and am continually beating my head against the wall. Maybe I’ve knocked all sense out of it because lately this yarn has come out of timeout and is back on the needles although after many rippings it looks a bit sad. I’ve seen pictures of this yarn knit up beautifully so I’m trying not to loose hope regardless of how much swearing is happening on my part.

    • So it’s not just me? Damn. I guess that sorta makes me feel better but it doesn’t make it promising for that particular skein to ever see the light of day again… Hope you don’t get too frustrated with your project!

  3. Pingback: WIP Wednesday #5 | Twisted Stitcher

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