Coming Clean

My name is Suzy and I have a stash problem.

Now, before you go freaking out, it’s not what you think. Promise. Just bear with me.  I need to get this off my chest and I think it’s like the band aid. I just need to get it out there and it’ll be ok..

Saturday I finally got my squishy from indigodragonfly- my Smartass Knitter’s World Domination Club package.  I signed up for the first time about a year ago. The deal goes every other month club members are shipped an exclusive colorway in the yarn base of the dyer’s choosing and a pattern to go with it. It also includes a knitting related swag item. In February I chose to enhance my membership with mystery skeins.  I get an extra skein with each club package cuz, well, more yarn is always a good thing, right?  This part still isn’t what finally made me admit my problem.

What finally did it was the extra shopping. See, Kim & Ron let club members order other yarn and hold it for shipping with our club packages. Seeing as I am stateside and they are in Kanukistan, this is a great big savings on shipping for me. Just an extra dollar per skein (so far. I’ve never ordered so much that we had to discuss alternate shipping options) which helps to keep the cost of internet stash enhancement down. I love this and take advantage of it often because I’m usually ordering single skeins of sock yarn with no immediate plans to knit it up into something. Non-stash, of course, cuz it’s sock yarn and we all know sock yarn doesn’t count as stash, but future project stash at any rate. And since the club packages only ship every other month, it can sometimes be a while between placing and paying for an order and receiving my yarn.

This is where my problem comes in.  You see…  I forget. A lot. This time I knew I had 2 extra skeins coming. I knew I ordered some form of “AS God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly”. Its a nice enough colorway to be sure, but honestly, I think I wanted it just because the name absolutely kills me. This is what gets me into trouble with Kim’s yarn most of the time. It’s the names. It turns out I will wear socks in any color known to man whether they match the rest of my outfit or not, so I can do things like order some random yellow & pink colorway I’d never look at twice in a shirt because who doesn’t want to sport “More Tequila Less Sunrise” on her tootsies on a cold, gray winter’s morning?

But I couldn’t for the life of me remember what the other skein I ordered was. At all.  And because I’d already bought & paid for the yarn, had confirmation that Paypal transferred funds and what not, I wasn’t too worried. It adds to the fun of getting yarn in the mail when everything’s a surprise, right?

Well… Here’s the thing. When I finally got my delightful squishy in Saturday’s mail, I ripped right in to check out all four skeins. Imagine my surprise when this is what tumbled out…

Yep.  Count ’em up… FIVE. That’s FIVE skeins of yarn. Not four.

This is my stash problem… I forget.  I completely forgot about that one off colorway Ron dyed up while Kim was away.  It’s the one in the middle. The one called “Plaid? That’s not a NAME, it’s a major appliance”. Having come from one of my favorite movies of all time, I couldn’t NOT buy that skein, right? Especially since it was a one shot deal. Never to be repeated. Buy now of forever hold your peace. But I forgot.

Then there’s the other skein. The one I remembered ordering at the same time I ordered Turkeys (far right, in case you’re wondering).  I had no idea what color it was. I had no idea what base I’d ordered (Merino Silk Cashmere Sock, in case you’re wondering. It’s truly delicious stuff). I wasn’t worried, per se, but I couldn’t remember.  Why can’t I remember? For the inquiring minds, that extra skein, it’s called “Au Jus, Having Just Been Diagnosed As Lactose Intolerant, Was Now Officially The Unluckiest Cow In Britain”. How can you pass up a name like that? And more importantly, how can you forget it?

This is not the first time my problem has surfaced. Frankly I’ve been trying to hide it for ages…  I first realized it with my good friend, Malabrigo.  I’d go to the yarn shop, I’d inhale the fumes, I’d hit the cash register with a stash of never before seen colors. I’d get home. I’d go to the stash room to put them away and there they’d be… Already in my stash. Same colors. WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER?

For a while I tried to poopoo the problem.  No. Really. I meant to buy two skeins. I have small feet and a lot of leftover yarn at the end of a pair of socks. If I buy two skeins, I can knit THREE pair of socks! Really. I meant to do that.

Only I finally had to admit it. I don’t like knitting socks out of the same yarn three times. Two socks can sometimes be an issue (referred to as Second Sock Syndrome. Luckily I don’t have a horrid case of SSS, mild and occasional at worst) so why would I want to knit six socks in the same yarn? That’s just silly. So it finally forced me to admit my problem. I can’t remember the yarn in my stash.

I think I know the best treatment method… Its a two pronged approach. First… I must better utilize the stash tools on Ravelry. Since I can access the sight from my iPhone, I can always check to see if I have the yarn already and decide if I want to buy more of it or if I want to buy something I don’t already have. Next, I must knit all the things. Cuz if I’ve already knit the skein, it’s no longer in the stash, so I’m simply REPLACING yarn, not buying more. Right? Yes. This should totally work.

There. I feel better now. I guess it’s true what they say. The first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem. Now I can work toward the cure. Better stash organization and more knitting. This sounds so perfect!

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2 responses to “Coming Clean

  1. Pingback: It’s Done!! « Floridian Fibers

  2. Pingback: Packing Troubles « Floridian Fibers

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